Spontaneous Integration

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

Who Knew?

I’m not like Sybil. Though I can forget things that I’ve done or said, my alters for the most part are co-conscious. I’m highly functioning, or what would be called Functional Multiplicity.

I was recently integrated some more — spontaneously. I wasn’t really trying to integrate, I just figured I would integrate if I was ready. I knew I was integrated more because the conversations in my head have become less erratic and anxious. There are literally fewer of “me” in my head. It’s really hard to explain, but I feel less weighed down by a large group. There are fewer arguments and questions in my head. I feel stronger and more sane, if that makes sense.

I asked my System who was integrated, and was told by one of my primaries, that my entire tertiary level of alters were integrated with my secondary alters. Now, I only have two levels in the hierarchical structure, and I feel great!

How did it happen? I let it go. I gave my situation over to God and kept living life as normally as I could in His strength and power for me.

The Bible says that all things are possible with Christ, and now I believe it more than ever.